Lies we tell ourselves
stem from what others tell us,
but they’re not to blame
For a long time now I’ve been thinking that certain people I know are totally narcissistic. But actually I think everybody is – a bit. We all have the frightening ability to see and hear what we wish to see and hear, or at least whichever version of reality that absolves us of all blame or responsibility. I can’t make peace with a situation until I can place myself in it completely honestly, and either accept the blame or realise I’m not to blame. This isn’t easy or even always possible though.
Narcissus could only see himself. Narcissistic people can only see others through their own reflection. I think it’s important to be able to slip out of your own skin and flip a situation on its head. Unfortunately some people aren’t able to do that at all, but we should all try.
so like nature’s own. Copies.
We’re just animals.
When I was 13, I joined a church group. I had so many questions about the world and about religion, and I really wanted to be part of something – to belong. That experience is probably why I’m now so open about the fact that I consider myself non-religious. I don’t think there are many things that any religion can offer me that I can’t get elsewhere, and I’m uncomfortable with the idea of blind faith. And needless to say, many of my questions about religion went unanswered by the Baptist Christian church group.
I remember sititng in a service listening to some particularly funky young members doing some numbers on an acoustice guitar. I was so moved by what I heard that I actually had to blink back tears. The church provided the perfect acoustics to really make the guitar sing, however afterwards it was put to me that I had been moved by the Lord’s presence. No. I was moved by the music itself – by the reverberations that echoed inside my very soul, it seemed. Music is a wonderful thing, it can uplift, heal, it can make you feel whatever it chooses. This is the power of intelligent communication, common to all living thinking beings. Nature is mysterious and all-encompassing, and shouldn’t be belittled by supernatural beliefs. We are but natural beings, and should take our place amongst the rest with gratitude.
a lone bird singing
amidst the city noises
its beauty, fragile.
I really need to get a new phone with a camera, instead of my emergency phone. I keep seeing images that I really want to capture – like the wee tiny bird sitting on top of a fence protecting some construction workers from the busy road in Glasgow city centre the other day. It kept on singing even though the drills were drowning it out. I seemed to be the only one to notice it.
hearts, perfectly matched
bought so long ago it seems
in happier times
I’ve taken to wearing the earrings in the picture almost every day – I bought them last year on the only holiday I ever had with an ex-boyfriend. Tonight I was sitting with my haiku notebook out, writing with my right hand and playing with one of the earrings with my left hand. They provide some comfort and nice memories. I ❤ trinkets.
bright sun then shadow,
rain clouds threatening overhead –
autumn setting in
Here’s a little known fact – it has rained every day in September in Scotland so far. Today looks like it will not be an exception, Last night I dreamt that next year’s spring bulbs were already starting to bloom because of the wet weather. I’m also fairly sure my feet are becoming webbed. But autumn is still my favourite season by far.
green turns to red
a new chill makes the breeze bite
autumn has arrived
I love autumn. I love the colours of nature as the seasons change, I love the seasonal produce, and I love any excuse to curl up at night with a blanket! Last year around this time, I guest starred in my friend’s blog – she wanted to create a post about food. She’s a photographer who loves to eat and I love to cook so we make perfect partners. I came up with kind of a new recipe – I used some basic cake recipes for inspiration and added my own twist to it. It turned out so well so I’ll be making it again next weekend when I have some friends over for dinner. Here it is:
still-green trees muffle
the faint murmur of traffic-
the city bustles
I’ve been spending more and more time in Glasgow recently, as I’ve been trying to move there for a while. It still hasn’t worked out and I’m starting to get really frustrated with myself (although it’s not really my fault).
I love being in the west end of the city, surrounded by light brown sandstones, trees, and most importantly friendly faces, with the quiet roar of the city proper an undertone to all the other sounds. The feeling I have when I’m there is what compels me to take out my geeky little notebook and try to write poetry.
I think my frustration is also just a general impatientness with my career – as a student I can’t really afford the move yet and that’s really annoying. I’ve felt very creatively-stunted recently as I feel my life has stalled. Whether it has or not is a matter of opinion but I am desperately seeking inspiration!